You should have purchased Energizers. They just keep going and going. - Matty Malaprop

They'll listen non-judgmentally to all of your problems, free of charge. - Matty Malaprop

I'll just keep calling his duracell until he finally gives up and answers. That ALWAYS works. - Matty Malaprop

I tried doing this once with my phone, but in addition to being dead, it turns out my battery was also a deadbeat. - Matty Malaprop

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Stay tuned as we continue to make Cheezburger a happier place!

Visit the Cheezburger blog for more information.

In the end, he wound up in a holding Duracell, but he tried to stay positive about the whole messy affair. - Matty Malaprop

After he got over his fear of public speaking, Terry left his weekly AA meetings feeling positively energized. - Matty Malaprop