You Find it a Wood Colander?

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You Find it a Wood Colander?
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Sorry, sorry, I jest. But no seriously, you find it a divider strainer? - Matty Malaprop

A Capital Contradiction

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A Capital Contradiction
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It's a prefix turned punchline... MIND = BLOWN. - Matty Malaprop

Also Works With "But That Scholarship Bundle Seemed So Accommodating..."

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Also Works With "But That Scholarship Bundle Seemed So Accommodating..."
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Sallie Mae is not your girlfriend, no matter how much you'd like to believe otherwise. - Matty Malaprop

F'in A

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F'in A
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It's an expletive within an expletive! - Matty Malaprop

God Hates Figs

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God Hates Figs
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It's in the Bible, folks, so it has to be true. - Matty Malaprop

I Was Hoping For an ASUS, But Okayface.jpg

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I Was Hoping For an ASUS, But Okayface.jpg
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At least I'm not getting arrested, like a certain former Dell spokesperson... - Matty Malaprop