I Take Offense to This

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Oh, I see what you did there, clever gif creator! - Matty Malaprop

Perhaps We Should Tree Other People

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As my mother always told me: It's seldom inappropriate to chair the love you have for someone else. - Matty Malaprop

I Was Hoping For an ASUS, But Okayface.jpg

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At least I'm not getting arrested, like a certain former Dell spokesperson... - Matty Malaprop

His Wife is the Hostess With the Moses

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F'in A

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It's an expletive within an expletive! - Matty Malaprop

You Find it a Wood Colander?

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Sorry, sorry, I jest. But no seriously, you find it a divider strainer? - Matty Malaprop

God Hates Figs

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It's in the Bible, folks, so it has to be true. - Matty Malaprop