You should be pretty safe if your only domain is Lusitania.net, though. - Matty Malaprop

Thanks to his military training, he knows never to shoot at a culprit until he sees the egg whites of their eyes. - Matty Malaprop

With all the internal turmoil happening over in the Middle East, I worry their faith system might be stuck at square root one. - Matty Malaprop

I'm one of those who do, Siri-usly. - Matty Malaprop

Here's hoping your Skrillex-themed Valentine will be enough to let you Bangarang that special someone in your life... because I wouldn't be caught Deadmau5 dating the kind of person who gives out Skrillex Valentines. - Matty Malaprop

Please to be our Valentine?

Matty Malaprop's Valentine's Day 2012 Agenda: Work. Go home. Cry. Listen to The Smiths. Cry. Eat ice cream. Cry. Listen to the Smiths. Cry. Fap. Cry. Eat ice cream, listen to The Smiths, cry and fap simultaneously. Repeat until it's Feb. 15.

It's Valentine's Day, and Cheezburger has a very special present for you!

This one's for all the S.O.s out there, and all the CO₂. - Matty Malaprop

It's Valentine's Day, and Cheezburger has a very special present for you!