I'm sorry, but where's my main cat LeVar Burton in this picture? I WANT TO READ AND I WANT THERE TO BE RAINBOWS WHILE I'M DOING IT THANKYOUVERYMUCH. - Matty Malaprop

I have a guess at what's the matter: U is missing an umlaut with which to see! - Matty Malaprop

Looks like someone went warp speed all over her stupid face, amirite? - Matty Malaprop

If you replace the heads in this post with the effigy of Nigel Thornberry, then I suppose that makes them both Thorn to be Wilde. - Matty Malaprop

If your name is Jennifer Connelly, does that make you an Ass-to-Ass? - Matty Malaprop

Because driving an aquarium just takes far too much work, really. - Matty Malaprop

Oh, wait, did I say "sage advice?" I meant "3OH!3 is one of the worst bands ever." My mistake. - Matty Malaprop