Seriously, all that involuntary movement can't be good for their sirloins... - Matty Malaprop

Sometimes the products featured at Costco food kiosks are weird, but this one in particular really takes the cake. - Matty Malaprop

Just don't try and argue with the man, unless you want to magically "disappear" quicker than a Che of light. - Matty Malaprop

I'm sorry, but where's my main cat LeVar Burton in this picture? I WANT TO READ AND I WANT THERE TO BE RAINBOWS WHILE I'M DOING IT THANKYOUVERYMUCH. - Matty Malaprop

I have a guess at what's the matter: U is missing an umlaut with which to see! - Matty Malaprop

Looks like someone went warp speed all over her stupid face, amirite? - Matty Malaprop

If you replace the heads in this post with the effigy of Nigel Thornberry, then I suppose that makes them both Thorn to be Wilde. - Matty Malaprop