Via: SB Nation
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Things were rough at the opening game for the Chicago Cubs at Wrigley Field. The stadium began a massive renovation project, but due to inclimate weather this past winter progress has been minimal. Despite all this, the Cubs insisted their field was prepared for opening day.

Cut to this weekend, where only two of the men's rooms in the entire stadium were functional. Literally thousands of fans waited in line for as long as an hour to take a leak, leading many to pee in cups, or make liquid graffiti of their names on the wall like children. Food shortages meant that many fans were left with nothing but french fries to snack on as the game progressed. 

The Cubs ended up losing their game 3-0 against the St. Louis Cardinals

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Walmart not only has falling prices, it’s also got strange men falling out of the ceiling.

A shoplifter was apprehended by security at a store in Mobile, Alabama last Wednesday after trying to walk away with a debit card, some shoes, a hat, a watch and some underwear.

They locked him up in the security office, but he mysteriously disappeared.

“He had climbed on a desk, jumped into the ceiling, then tried to escape,” said a witness named Brannan Lynn, who recorded the whole thing on his phone.

The suspect made his way to the entryway of the store where he then kicked he way through, dangling for a few minutes before hopping down to the ground.

He eventually ran into the parking lot and drove away in his car.

You can check out some more raw footage of the daring escape on LiveLeak.

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Back in January, former Miami Dolphins player Rob Konrad was involved in a fishing accident that forced him to swim 9-miles to safety.

This was probably the first time a swimming dolphin was considered breaking news.

He had fallen overboard, and his ship, which was on autopilot, quickly sailed away from him.

After 16 long hours at sea with sharks and jellyfish, he finally reached shore. A new video has been released this week showing his first encounter with police in Palm Beach after the swim.

You can watch his January press conference about the ordeal below.

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Come February 23, Little Caesars Pizza is single-handedly going to give everyone in America a heart attack.

The company announced Wednesday that it will begin selling a new deep dish pizza with a crust that is wrapped in 3.5 feet of bacon.

It will contain two different types of bacon and will also be covered in pepperoni, because you need to eat more meat.

“It’s unabashedly delicious,” said Little Caesars spokesman Edward Gleich. “That’s why we like to say, ‘In Bacon We Crust!'”

This is just the latest in a long line of fast food monstrosities which get a lot of a attention online for their freakish nature and often unhealthy ingredients.

Recently KFC in the Philippines introduced us to a new iteration of its “Double Down sandwich, the “Double Down Dog,” which consists of a hot dog covered in melted cheese with a piece of fried chicken as the bun.

And Pizza Hut in Australia announced back in December that it was selling a stuffed crust pizza covered in Doritos.

Little Caesars’ Bacon Wrapped Crust DEEP!DEEP! Dish will cost $12 and be available until April… or when our arteries are sufficiently clogged.

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Do you wanna build a snowman, in jail?

The Harlan City Police Department in Kentucky issued an arrest warrant on Wednesday (via Facebook) for Queen Elsa from “Frozen,” blaming her on all the terrible weather.

All points bulletin!!! HPD has issued an arrest warrant for Queen Elsa of Arendelle. Suspect is a blonde female last seen wearing a long blue dress and is known to burst into song “Let it Go!” As you can see by the weather she is very dangerous. Do not attempt to apprehend her alone.

A few weeks ago, a police department in New Hampshire pulled a similar stunt, but targeting the famous groundhog Punxsutawney Phil who predicted 6 more weeks of winter.

The Harlan police have since gotten quite a bit of media attention and were a bit surprised.

“Wow. We were just having a little fun and didn’t expect this,” they said. “But as a reminder, do take the precautions you need to keep you, your friends, family, neighbors and pets safe during the snow queen’s mad spell.”

In all seriousness, the abnormally cold weather is starting to get really old Mother Nature.

Hopefully the CIA will be able to locate the evil mastermind soon and put an end to all of this nonsense.

guns,news,wtf,machine guns,florida,Video,orlando
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Meanwhile in Florida…

A new theme park called "Machine Gun America" is opening December 20 in Orlando, because teaching kids how to use automatic weapons in the same area as Disney World is a great idea!

Dubbed "Orlando's first automatic adrenaline attraction" the park says it offers "an exciting way to experience firearms in a safe, secure, state-of-the-art environment designed to give anyone, regardless of their experience level, the thrill of a lifetime."

Guests cannot bring their own guns, you can't drink and anyone 13-years or older is allowed into the park.

The 13,000-square-foot facility has, according to the press release, 10 firing lanes, three simulators, a full-immersion video experience with surround sound, a gift shop, refreshment area and VIP Lounge and viewing area.

There are also a number themes you can choose from, including a zombie apocalypse and one called "Automatic Divas:"

  • Special Ops Red, White and Blue
    Feeling patriotic? Shoot military-grade firearms and feel like a national hero.

  • Gangster Land
    A shooting experience perfect for guys and dolls looking for the thrill of some of the most infamous 'heaters' from the 1930s and 40s.

  • The Walking Dread
    Are you a survivor? Brave the zombie apocalypse with the help of fully automatic firearms. Don't forget, aim for the undead head.

  • 007
    Channel your inner Bond and experience the thrill of being an elite special agent. Shoot legendary sophisticated guns in classic Bond style, tuxedo not required.

  • Western Shootout
    Fulfill your Wild West destiny with classic guns of outlaws and lawmen alike that are sure to hit the target for any cowboy.

  • Automatic Divas
    Let your bad side come out to play and take charge with polished pistols and powerful machine guns for the biggest and boldest rush of excitement.

  • Big Screen Legends
    Say hello to our little friends. Live out your favorite movie scenes with some of the most legendary guns in film history and become the hero of your own story. There has of course been some pushback over the opening of the park from groups like Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense, but MGA is still opening up as scheduled.

"It's romanticizing our freedom and our history," General Manager Bruce Nierenberg told Florida's WTSP. "I mean, it's part of American life. That's how we gained our freedom."

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