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trending satire news american girl betchiness ranking lol
Via: Betches
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American Girls. Those super-expensive dolls you could buy to look creepily exactly like you, look nothing like you, or to just be cute:


She's definitely cute


We can agree--whether with our parents over how much they cost, or at our friends for not letting us rip off their heads or cut off their hair--we have all had anger toward them at some point in our lives.

Enter Betches and their definitive ranking of the American Girls by Betchiness.

We get the glory of seeing that entitled historical b*tch Samantha, finally getting put in her place.

...and seeing Josefina Montoya--pronounced "HO-SEF-INA" (I know, because I used to work there and was REQUIRED to correct people who called in to order one, fun times)--put in her damn place brings me NO END of pleasure:




Plus with randos like Caroline Abbott...


...you will feel the satisfying burn of familiar hatred sparked within the childlike center of your soul.


Don't you just hate our faces?!


Check out more of the awesomeness and pick your favorite betch here.


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Brave the apocalyptic landscape as Dan Bilzerian, where you'll encounter a wealth of zombie chicks looking to literally seduce Dan to death...the game's so outlandish it's hard to believe it's real life; but hey leave it to Bilzerian the Instagram celeb to push those boundaries, man.



If your curiosity's aroused check out the game on iTunes over here. At least you know you're guaranteed an interesting, albeit haphazard maddening ride..

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Baseball player Bryce Harper was just named National League MVP last week. He also let the entire world know he doesn't want to be a meme.

The trouble with that is he pronounced meme like "meh-may" and thus was turned into a meme.

An interview with Scott Van Pelt on SportsCenter is where the MVP was where the gaf happened.

And a new meh-may was born...

Welcome to the Internet, Bryce.

We are a cruel people.

Facebook Rant of The Day: Man With Unfortunate Name is Sick and Tired of Your Jokes
Via: FOX 5
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Phuc Dat is having one Bich of a day.

A Facebook post by a man named Phuc Dat Bich (pronounced "Phoo Da Bic") is picking up steam. He says his Facebook page has been shut down several times by Facebook because the social media site thinks he has a fake name.

And because it sounds like, well, you know—some curse words.

The post was created back in January, but it's getting more recent attention since an Australian newspaper got wind of it.

Long story short, his name is Phuc Dat Bich.

Bich.

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