Oh My God, You Can Do It on a Unicorn in The Witcher 3

- -

On the latest episode of Conan O'Brien's "Clueless Gamer," Conan discovers what may be the best new feature of The Witcher 3.  Apparently getting it on in hidden ponds and the lair of a succubus was not enough; The Witcher 3 has upped the ante, letting you have sex ATOP A UNICORN.  Mind you, it's not a live unicorn, but who cares?!  It's a unicorn! It's magical!

If you want to get straight to the action, head to around 9:20 in the video.


Rufus Wainwright - Hallelujah (Waluigi Remix)

- -

Jeff Buckley rose from his grave just so he could die again after hearing this.

Watch 4 Minutes and 20 Seconds (Lol) of Pure Ecstasy as This Awful Mortal Kombat X Spammer Gets Exactly What They Deserve

- -

We all know them. We all hate them. The spammers. The terrible, no-talent assclowns who just spam ranged attacks all day long. They're like the guy who camps in a corner and hardscopes in Call of Duty, except arguably more annoying.

In one corner, we have the admirable tryhard, Kung Jin. In the other, we have spamming assclown, Jacqui Briggs. Just when Kung Jin looks defeated, he unleashes an outstanding can of whoop-ass on Jacqui that puts spammers to shame everywhere. The guy playing Kung Jin doesn't even bother with a Fatality at the end, just a whole lot of teabagging.

Satisfaction doesn't even begin to describe it.

You Know What Goat Simulator Needed? Zombies!

- -

True horror is coming to Goat Simulator in GoatZ, a new zombie survival DLC touted as the "first survival game not in Early Access."  Touché.

The game will feature:

-Mandatory crafting system because everyone else is doing it
-Zombies that bug out. There’s a pun here about actual living bugs, but we’re not going to bother
-You can craft anything in the world, as long as it’s one of the half dozen weapons in the game
-Zombies, because this is a zombie game, remember?
-A pretty big new map with some stuff in it
-Completely realistic survival mode where you have to eat every damn five minutes to survive because Dean Hall & Garry Newman said so

Get it on Steam starting May 7th for $4.99.