CALIFORNIA

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CALIFORNIA The only place in the world where a foreigner in a banana yellow bikini briefs who's about to punch out a glass of cider while having his glutes rubbed down by a bikini-clad failed actress can become a three-term governor.

THE 13TH AMENDMENT

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THE 13TH AMENDMENT Possession of any person, regardless of job status, is a crime.

BILL OF RIGHTS

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BILL OF RIGHTS Too long. Didn't read*

*But will use half-assed understanding to demand "freedom" for stupid behavior.