Frank Ribery Totally Looks Like Quasimodo

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Frank Ribery Totally Looks Like Quasimodo
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Frank Ribery Totally Looks Like Quasimodo

Why is it that even ugly dudes with good careers like "football player" and "bell ringer" get more action than a dashing, unf-worthy gentleman like me? Is it because I write things like "unf-worthy"?

This Mummy Portrait Totally Looks Like Tiger Woods

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This Mummy Portrait Totally Looks Like Tiger Woods
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This Mummy Portrait Totally Looks Like Tiger Woods

Coincidentally, that mummy was a world-renowned athlete in his time, but he lost it all because he kept taking ladies out behind the pyramids in order to give them "the business." So scandalous.