politicians

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Sen. Mitch McConnell Totally Looks Like Pale Man from "Pan's Labyrinth"

In a new segment I like to call "How to Get This Look," I will share with you the secrets of looking like these two dudes:

Step One: Throw some pizza dough up in the air LIKE A BOSS.
Step Two: Allow the pizza dough to land on your face LIKE A BOSS. Step Three: You now look like both Senator Mitch McConnell and Pale Man!!!

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GOP Rep. Paul Ryan Totally Looks Like Sad Smiley

Let's fire up the world's smallest violin and sing ourselves a sad little song. But which one? "GOP Teardrops on My Guitar?" "96 GOP Tears?" "Tears of a GOP Clown?" That list song title has an element of redundancy to it, wouldn't you say? YA BURNT?!