You've all heard the stories of English speakers getting tattoos of phrases in languages they don't speak. They try to get something inspirational or beautiful tattooed on an extremely visible body part only to discover later that what their tattoo really said was either something random or humiliating. Either way, it was not what they asked for. Although this is still happening today, this trend in the tattoo world was huge in the 90s and 2000s and will never fully go away. Although this pheno…

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Hear ye! Hear ye! I be the town crier, and I have news of many merriments! Firstly of all, you are alive and not dead. That is a spectacular feat, considering how the world is during these times. These times can be mid, these times can be evil, and they are beyond capable of being both! Your status as a fully conscious human being is the good news. The bad news is that we are in the cold, cruel midst of a medieval peasant famine. But no need to fret, dear citizens. The king has been gracious en…

There's nothing better than spending your Wednesday night at a fine dining establishment such as the Golden Corral. I don't mean “fine dining” in the traditional sense, but “fine dining” in that you will have such a brutally average, filling, and affordable experience that you have no choice but to come back again and again. An all-you-can-eat buffet-style restaurant gives you opportunities that an establishment like IHOP will never be able to offer. You can mix and match the cuisines of the wo…

Cats are one of the most remarkable animals ever invented. I didn't grow up with a cat myself, but I was a massive fan of the most famous cat in the world, Garfield . Garfield is a cat with no job, and yet he hates Mondays. He loves lasagna, sleeping, and being a menace to everyone he meets. As I grow older, I'm becoming much more of a Garfield than I used to be. When I was a baby, I was Odie: a creature who couldn't speak but is just happy to be alive. When I was a kid, I was Nermal: young and…

If you think you heard the term “the bucket list” before 2007… YOU'RE WRONG.

Picture this. Your boss is coming over for dinner. It's a big deal - so you're preparing a gorgeous roast. Only the best for the Superintendent. Unfortunately, things don't go as planned. Just after your esteemed guest arrives, you realize the roast is burnt. “Oh, egads!” you exclaim in the privacy of the smoke-filled kitchen. “My roast is ruined! But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking?” The thought tickles you. “Delightfully devilish, Seymour.” Before you ca…

Sh*tpost central

They make it look easy.

It's meme time

Cheers to America's longest-running sitcom