pickup line

Via: Poorly Drawn Lines
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Remarkable, sure, but it's also a congenital defect that causes her great amounts of pain every day. :( - Matty Malaprop

By Unknown
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Sadly, after one steamy night these two never spoke again. Ms. Film thought Mr. Film was a nice guy, but ultimately decided he was totally disposable. - Matty Malaprop

Via: Nathan Bulmer
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It's all there, really. Elements of Joyce, Proust, Goethe and Broch, told in a voice halfway between Deleuze and DeLillo. - Matty Malaprop

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I've always been quite frond of these plant-related puns. - Matty Malaprop

(P.S. I have no idea why OP chose to call this post Randy Moss but whatever)