It's almost Halloween, so 'tis the season. Watch (and learn?) as “Doctor” Jordan Breeding uses Your Brain on Cracked to discuss the ubiquity of zombie strippers, google searches, old ass deer hitting cars, and head slides in horror movies.

My culture is not your costume!

King of the squashes

Not to brag, but I was the MVP of Halloween when I was a kid. My grandma, my mom, and I concocted costumes that could not be more legendary. Here's a master list of the costumes I did so that you will believe me: I was Arthur from the hit PBS series, The Monopoly Man, The Mona Lisa, Ursula The Sea Witch, Garfield The Cat, and a Cavewoman all in a row. Those were the costumes I wore from Kindergarten through 5th grade, and I had all hits and no misses. Even when I was a teenager, my Halloweens w…

The tarantula is my new sleep paralysis demon

The candy that splits America

Oh me, oh my! My eyes may deceive my mind, but by Jove , I must hope and must pray that this is real life and I'm living it. I have seemingly been blessed by a gift from a generous fairy: 35 gorgeous and beautiful memes, all for my pleasure. Finally, my days of twiddling away in the mud, drawing my own mediocre memes with a stick and some rocks, are now far behind me. Now I can bask in the glorious glory of having so many memes all to myself. How do people who live in such abundance do it? How…

Feeling fab-boo-lous

A town shrouded in mystery returns...

If we wanna get nostalgic about McDonald's we can just remember all their past mascots...

At least Michael Myers commits...

The local news : one of my favorite sources of misinformation. For the past 10 years (and honestly, probably even longer than that), every local news station in the country has recycled the same tired warnings about drugs or razor blades being snuck into their children's Halloween candy. They broadcast images of colorful candy-like substances and tell parents to watch out, as drug dealers are dead set on secretly imbuing these devilish substances into the bodies of innocents. Of course, this is…

You never know what's in there

"A True Classic Never Goes Out Of Style."

It is officially October, which means celebrating the Halloween season is now completely socially acceptable. During the first few weeks of Spooktober, before Halloween events really start revving up, I like to take time to consume some good old fashioned Universal Monster Movies. I'm talking The Mummy, Dracula, Frankenstein, The Bride of Frankenstein, and how could you forget the ever so furry Wolf Man. I'm of the opinion that the old monster movies are the most superior horror movies. Sure, t…

All of our phobias are the same