Buy your own chicken nuggets!

Hotdog Mastery

The GOAT

Crimes against pizzakind

Not great, not terrible

Stop what you're doing for just a minute. Take a look around the room. What's next to you? What are you drinking? Coffee? Juice? Please, don't say soda. Me? I've got a big jar of ice water. The way that it's supposed to be. We all know how important hydration is for the optimal functioning of our bodies. But I don't think we appreciate it as much as we should. Admittedly, I'm only a recent water convert. Only in the past few months have I started drinking the daily recommended amount of water.…

If you've spent any time on TikTok or even Instagram reels recently, chances are you've come across a restocking video. These popular videos generally feature a disembodied hand (or hands) filling a refrigerator, pantry, or bathroom with brand-new products. Most of the time, these products are removed from their original packaging and “re-homed” into some other vessel, often another plastic abomination that looks more “aesthetic.” Personally, I find the videos to be shockingly wasteful, both fr…

Call me old-fashioned, but I think every person should have to work a food position for at least a few months, once in their lives. I'm not the kind of person who'd generally hold a sentiment like that, but it's immediately apparent when you realize somebody hasn't. People who show zero empathy for workers, complain about how “easy” it is to do the job, and just treat their server with complete disrespect. You hate to see it. Cut your teeth as a busser for even just a month and you'll realize t…

🥥

Everybody likes their hamburger prepared in a different way. When I was a kid, I would order every burger with only pickles on it. No ketchup, mustard, or anything else was welcome on that sandwich. I thought that pickles were the only topping I could possibly stomach, but I would eventually prove myself wrong by adding onions to the equation. Basically, I was eating the stinkiest burgers imaginable without lettuce and tomato to soften the blow. Luckily, I wasn't in that phase too long. One tim…

Talk about a bold party guest

It's my belief that people take lemons for granted. Most stores, even the produce-phobic bodegas of Brooklyn , have a least a few to offer the acid-seeking individuals of the world. Lemons gussy up water. They add zip to salad dressings, their zest is crucial for many baked goods, and they taste good as hell in a cocktail. Lemons have inspired tired phrases (When life gives you lemons… ) and denigrating ones (when we're talking about disappointing people or things). Lemon-flavored things also g…

Delicious

This one's for the friend-havers

Summer is officially here, and you know what that means? It's time to chow down on a hot dog at a 4th of July barbeque. Every American city has a very different idea of what a hot dog should be. I'm mostly talking about New York and Chicago because those cities will let you know when you're eating a hot dog wrong. Chicago citizens, particularly, hate it when you put ketchup on your hot dog. They see it as an insult to their city, culture, and way of life. There is a terrifying statue of a menac…

Plus: Friends ignoring you? Fake your own death!