Via: CBS Miami
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Brought to you fresh and fried out of Lecanto, Florida, The Citrus County Sheriff's Office arrested a woman on shoplifting and drug paraphernalia charges. She was apprehended amidst a shopping cart fueled joyride out of hell.

The woman's been identified as Josseleen Elida Lopez, 25. Lopez was held after scarfing down $32.36 worth of food and wine. She told the authorities she's homeless.

If you're going to hit rock bottom, at least eat some chicken, and wash it down with some wine right? In all seriousness we wish Lopez the best on her road to recovery. Deputies disclosed to the press that they found two empty syringes after arresting Lopez, which she claims she used to inject crystal meth.

Girl matches with Martin Shkreli on Tinder, proceeds to talk with him about capitalism.
Via: evepeyser
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For the love of god, swipe left.

Remember Martin Shkreli? You know that guy who bought the cheap, life-saving AIDS drug and then raised the price by 5000 percent?

Well, just like everyone you know, he's on Tinder and Eve Peyser matched with him. She recognized him and wanted to start a frank conversation about his business practices.

It went about as well as you'd expect.

Yeah, seems like a regular, misunderstood dude. Hope he finds true love on Tinder.

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