I think about the supervillain rise and fall of former Disney chairman and CEO Michael Eisner more than I should. If you've ever read anything about the history of Disney from the 80s to the 2000s, Eisner is guaranteed to be one of the main characters in the business side of things. If you're unfamiliar with the famous executive, this quote will tell you much of what you need to know. “We have no obligation to make art. We have no obligation to make history. We have no obligation to make a stat…

My favorite Disney villain is, by far, Cruella de Vil . First of all, I love a name that is severely on the nose, and you don't get more on the nose than 'Cruella DeVil.' She's one of those villains that has so much fun with being evil; killing puppies is such a whimsically horrible hobby, don't you think? I also respect that she outshines every character in that show by miles! Roger and Anita, who? Pongo and Perdita where? The only name on my lips rhymes with Isabella Until. I don't mean to br…

This week, the trailer for the new Peter Pan & Wendy movie came out. I'm shocked that Disney is attempting to do a Peter Pan live-action remake; If they think they can compare to Hook , they are out of their minds. Personally, I was obsessed with the made-for-TV live-action Peter Pan starring Mary Martin in 1960. It was an adaptation of the Peter Pan Broadway musical, so Disney didn't get their greasy paws on it. My favorite thing about Peter Pan the musical is that they cast a middle-aged woma…

I don't know about y'all, but I'm curious to see how the live-action Little Mermaid movie will differ from its source material. It seems like every Disney live-action remake tries to comment on the movie it's based on, primarily trying to make it more feminist. The remakes of Beauty and the Beast , Aladdin , The Lion King , and Mulan all tried to amp up the feminism in their movies, almost trying to apologize for the allegedly inadequate “girl power” in the original films. I found this weird be…

Believe it or not, there are some fairy tales that Disney has yet to adapt into movies! The endless sources of folkloric inspiration are no small feature of the Disney brand and have been used for movies throughout the decades. I remember the buzz around Frozen when it first came out due in some part to it being based on The Snow Queen by Hans Christian Andersen. In hindsight, it's wild that it took Disney until 2010 to make a Rapunzel movie. But where to next? I have some ideas for the Walt Di…

Of all of the billion-dollar corporations, there is not one with better brand recognition than Disney. How could there be? Do you think Apple could make timeless animated classics, less timeless live-action flicks, incredible theme parks, and Twitches ? I don't think so. Disney has convinced millions of people to wear their logo as merchandise. Google could literally never. Disney has got people consuming their products from their first days on earth to their dying moments, and no offense to Te…

This week, Disney announced several upcoming sequels: Frozen 3 , Zootopia 2 , Toy Story 5 , and Inside Out 2 . Toy Story 5 is simultaneously the most and least shocking of all the projects. Pixar cannot let Andy's toys go, and I understand why! I speak for millions when I say I would forever be entertained by hours of pointless episodic adventures of Woody, Buzz, Hamm, Slinky Dog, Bo Peep, and Rex. The numbers don't lie; every Toy Story movie has made absolute bank. Toy Story 5 will probably ma…

There is one Disney story from my childhood that still makes me laugh to this day. When I was a teenager, I used to go to a theatre competition every year. You would perform a selection from a “junior” show, shortened and edited versions of musicals intended for young performers. A couple of years into going, The Lion King Jr. was released so that children could finally participate in a shorter version of the hit Disney Broadway musical . The number of white children wearing kente cloth legging…

There has been a lot of drama in the Disney community this week, and it's all because of one theme park ride closing. Splash Mountain is not going away forever, but instead getting rethemed from featuring characters from Song of the South to Princess and the Frog . Splash Mountain was my favorite ride at Disneyland when I was a kid. It was the log flume at its peak form, with incredible animatronics and an epic 5-story drop. Even though I have a lot of nostalgia for it, I support the retheme. I…

Such a beautiful name for a girl

Disney is addicted to acquiring properties. From Pixar to Star Wars to Avatar , they've got some pretty high-profile brands in their wheelhouse. Unfortunately, there is one Disney property that has been so underused it's almost criminal. I'm talking, of course, about our felt friends, the Muppets. Disney acquired the Muppets in 2004, and they haven't done squat with them since! Sure, we got the 2011 movie The Muppets and the less successful sequel Muppets Most Wanted , but you'd think they woul…

The Mouse loves memes

When I was a kid, I was obsessed with Creepypastas. Many of the most famous creepypastas originated on the Something Awful forum, where people would share their craziest “true” horror stories. People tried their hardest to create the most believable and terrifying scary stories, usually starring their own original monster. The most recognizable Creepypasta protagonists include Slenderman and Jeff The Killer, but one of my favorite Creepypastas was called 'Abandoned By Disney .' In 'Abandoned By…

Happy New Year, Disney nerds! 2023 is upon us, and I, for one, am excited about what the new year has to offer regarding Disney projects. The movie I am most excited about has got to be the remake of The Little Mermaid starring Halle Bailey. I may or may not have watched the pirated videos of her singing ‘Part of Your World’ from the D23 Expo, and I have never had so many chills from hearing somebody singing anything. I know that Halle is going to knock it out of the park, and I am so excited t…

Disney Adults are one of the most oppressed groups in the world today. Well, not necessarily, but they do get a lot of slack for the mere crime of liking a theme park. Sure, maybe wearing mouse ears and crying when you meet Donald Duck is “cringe” by the standards of conventional society, but within the gates of Disneyland, it's

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, all the creatures were stirring, especially The Mouse TM . It's no secret that the holiday season is the craziest time of the year to go to Disney theme parks. School is out for the kids, and parents have PTO to burn before it expires at the end of the year. The best part of going to Disney for Christmas is escaping the winter vortexes of Northern and non-Floridian cities. The worst part? The lines: Everywhere you go, the people, the c…