Plus, Gypsy Rose Blanchard enjoys freedom.

Fire hazard central

Cruises have been a luxurious way to vacation since, well, boats existed we imagine. Cleopatra's barge definitely seemed like a private cruise of sorts. Anyway, despite the idyllic image of floating around the Caribbean, or perhaps the Greek Isles or Alaska, cruises aren't always what they're cracked up to be. And today, Cracked's Honest Ads (with our pal Roger Horton) is here to delve a little deeper into what it would sound like if cruise advertisements were actually honest.

She came back to her room and a crowd of towel dragons, mice, and more were staring at her.