This one's for all of you bird lovers out there. On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me a partridge in a pear tree . On the second day of Christmas, my true love sent to me two turtledoves and a partridge in a pear tree. On the third day of Christmas, my true love sent to me three French hens, two turtledoves, and a partridge in a pear tree. On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me four calling birds, three French hens, two turtledoves and a partridge in a pear tr…

Gatekeeping is sometimes necessary. I find it unquestionably necessary to gatekeep cat and dog memes from the rest of the animal memes. There is no shortage of lists displaying hundreds of thousands of dog and cat memes. If I were a betting man, I would say there are more cat memes than any other type of meme on God's green earth. I've got nothing against dogs or cats, but I have to ask, where are the worm memes? Where are the buffalo memes? When will the non-domesticated animal of the world ge…

I consider myself a novice birder. Due to my "gainful" employment, I don't have the leisure time to indulge in the wholesome activity, so I play Wingspan to try to ease the agony of deprivation. Last night, the game's tranquil soundtrack helped me drift off to sleep. There's something about the sound of sweetly chirping birds and the twinkling of a harp that is so soothing. Playing Wingspan, which was undoubtedly created with birders in mind, is as near to board game therapy as it gets, dependi…

Unlike humans, animals don't necessarily have to perform in order to entertain others. A goofy-looking cat who transitions awkwardly between sleeping positions can potentially inspire more delight in a person than a professional comic with years of experience and practice. No one bats an eye when I wash my hair, but a shampooed cow? Standing ovation. Even the most painfully low-effort memes can fully recover if they feature a funny or adorable animal. That said, we've rounded up a glorious coll…

I'm sure we all wished we were born into the legendary Irwin Dynasty at some point. Imagine being the heiress to the Australia Zoo throne, spending your days wearing fantastic two-piece khaki outfits with your awesome and perfectly wholesome family. I, for one, want nothing more than to star in my wildlife documentary programming and continue on the legacy of Steve Irwin , aka The Crocodile Hunter. I would trade my boring non-regional American accent for that authentic Aussie twang in a heartbe…

Oh me, oh my! My eyes may deceive my mind, but by Jove , I must hope and must pray that this is real life and I'm living it. I have seemingly been blessed by a gift from a generous fairy: 35 gorgeous and beautiful memes, all for my pleasure. Finally, my days of twiddling away in the mud, drawing my own mediocre memes with a stick and some rocks, are now far behind me. Now I can bask in the glorious glory of having so many memes all to myself. How do people who live in such abundance do it? How…

Terrifying

Isn't it crazy how we're all animals ? You and me are just as much of an animal as a fish or a bird. The only difference is that we convince ourselves we're better than other animals because we're the apex predator allegedly. As far as I'm concerned, the only thing that humans have better than animals is language. We can conjugate sentences, and they can do nothing of the sort. That's all we've got on them. Most other animals do not have to go to work. Sure, they have to get food and clean them…

Frogs and Cranberries? It must be fall. Much like Mariah Carrey's All I Want For Christmas is You on the Billboard Top 100 Chart, this meme comes crawling back to us seasonally, and we can't get enough of it. But why? On a fundamental level, "Frogs and cranberries it must be fall" is just plain funny. Why must it be fall when these two collide, we non-frog experts ask. What about this amphibian and this fruit coming together marks the period between September 22nd and December 20th? The meme or…

Dinosaurs might have gone extinct, but Dino memes are forever.

Every animal in the world will do two things: live and die. Disney's The Lion King (1994) illustrates this concept perfectly. One second, a monkey is introducing a baby lion into the world. Thirty minutes later, you're sobbing watching that baby lions father being trampled to death. That movie wasn't lying when it talked about the circle of life moving us all. If you love animals, you probably hate animals dying. I remember when the seminal film Marley and Me hit theatres, and animal lovers eve…

In my humble opinion, the greatest song ever written is Gilda Radner's “ Let's Talk Dirty To The Animals .” In that tune, the original SNL cast member revealed some timeless truths about the animal kingdom. That song isn't really about being dirty or nasty or filthy. It's about camaraderie. Non-human animals don't want to be talked down to or patronized. Animals are people to, and they deserve to be talked to dirty just as much as anybody else. If you've never heard Gilda Radner tell an alligat…

It’s very easy to have a knowledge of Animal Kingdom on a very superficial level. You go to your local zoo, you see the zebras, and you think you know something. If you’re a regular viewer of Animal Planet or the Discovery Channel, you might feel a little bit superior to the rubes who called themselves the next Steve Irwin. Unfortunately, neither of these groups truly compare to the real hobbyists. Do you know the kinds of people we can look at a prehistoric fish thing and tell you it’s genus,…

Let's be honest…the landscape of memes right now can be kind of depressing . There are so many memes about catastrophic global events that they can be hard to avoid. What happened to the good old days, when wholesome and fun memes ran this town? I don't want to see vaguely humorous pictures bemoaning the backbreaking reality of American hegemony. I want to see pictures of funny birds. I don't want to see a TikTok breaking down every single solitary unethical thing that some random micro-influen…

As you move through this world, you will meet some divas with such an insatiable zest for life that it's hard even to conceptualize what it's like to live inside their brains. This attitude can be cute…until it is annoying. There's a delicate balance between having a genuinely positive attitude and trying to force niceness into every situation despite its appropriateness. The latter option is passive aggression, the most toxic positivity man ever invented. If you don't take it too far, having a…

As a young cultural icon once said, “Animal crackers in my soup. Monkeys and rabbits loop the loop Gosh, oh gee! but I have fun Swallowing animals one by one.” There are some memes out there that aren't for the average little baby animal lover--mere children who only know about dogs, cats, fish, birds,