In terms of clever promotions, I'm certain this one's going to become an instant classic. - Matty Malaprop

I guess I'm just unlucky. Every time I buy something nice for myself, it always seems to missedeariously disappear... - Matty Malaprop

After seeing a decent number of episodes of It's Always Sunny, I'm honestly not sure how interested I am in taking a ride in this van... - Matty Malaprop

I don't want to claim this with any certainty, but I'm told this model is capable of driving through Pepper Pottholes without the driver feeling a thing! - Matty Malaprop

Van 1: Full of "free candy." Van 2: Full of young children. They meet in the middle at the common trait of "lawsuit." - Matty Malaprop

Screw being a pool shark. I've always aspired to be a billiards Volkswagen! - Matty Malaprop