I mean, fir real, man? That's the way you talk to the ladies in your life? Willow be damned... - Matty Malaprop
These puns are giving me a splintering headache.
Say what you will about my ever-expanding collection of lava lamps! I still maintain that they're an evergreen decor item! - Matty Malaprop
Her boyfriend's name is Douglas Fir, but what she doesn't know is he's been pollenating with other lady-trees and is now a carrier of Phytophthora root rot. - Matty Malaprop
These people really oughta stop with this conversation before they all make ashes out of themselves. - Matty Malaprop
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