That's Not How You Should Talk to Someone You're Pining For!

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That's Not How You Should Talk to Someone You're Pining For!
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I mean, fir real, man? That's the way you talk to the ladies in your life? Willow be damned... - Matty Malaprop

But What About Pernicioustrees?

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But What About Pernicioustrees?
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And for that matter, what about cantankeroustrees? Tenacioustrees? Do you just hate all things arboreal, or just pleasant ones in particular? - Matty Malaprop

Wood You Please Stop?

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Wood You Please Stop?
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These puns are giving me a splintering headache.