I know life feels so hard right now, but I promise it'll get better! You'll persevere and then everyone will know will be green with envy over your accomplishments! - Matty Malaprop

Seems to me that these men were busy discussing their international policy concerning Beirut. - Matty Malaprop

He's a fearsome god, but he'd probably be more fearsome with glasses. He's painfully Mjolnir-sighted. - Matty Malaprop

If you ever move, I'm going to tiramis-u so much! - Matty Malaprop

He may be able to stop a god and his army, but sadly he can't avenge your failing chemistry grade. - Matty Malaprop