Why yes, I did trim my beard today! Thank you so much for noticing! - Matty Malaprop

Wear one of these and you'll never have to worry about self-esteem again! ... or at least until some crafty boy figures out how to get it off you in less than three seconds. - Matty Malaprop

Though judging by the craftsmanship, I suspect it might actually be nothing more than a lousy repost... - Matty Malaprop

One might even say it's like holding the weight of a mother's world on her shoulders. - Matty Malaprop