I Could Have Written a Concise, Punny Post Title Here, But Then That Would Contradict the Tidbit I Shared With You Two Hours Ago So That's Simply Out of the Question

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I Could Have Written a Concise, Punny Post Title Here, But Then That Would Contradict the Tidbit I Shared With You Two Hours Ago So That's Simply Out of the Question
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And in truth, I probably could not have written a concise, punny post title for this particular image, so I'm still a liar even in my attempt to act truthfully. Well shoot. - Matty Malaprop

Close Enough.

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Close Enough.
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Ides of March. Eyes of Marge. Potato toaster strudel. - Matty Malaprop

You're Also Mispronouncing That Name TERRIBLY

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You're Also Mispronouncing That Name TERRIBLY
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If you're going to pun homophonically, then for the love of god you could at least use actual homophones! - Matty Malaprop

Just a Suggestion...

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Just a Suggestion...
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Seriously dude, if you can just let go of your popsicle angst, then I'm pretty sure your hostile exterior will simply melt away. - Matty Malaprop

Wait, Decline's an Option?

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Wait, Decline's an Option?
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Well then... screw you, tiny, child-sized bladder! No longer shall I answer to your whiny protestations! - Matty Malaprop

Hell Has Frozen Over

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Hell Has Frozen Over
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Meanwhile, residents in nearby Heck are enjoying comfortable temperatures in the mid-60s. - Matty Malaprop