I wonder what kind of tragedy has rendered him to be like this... - Matty Malaprop

Some days you're the windshield, and... wait, where was I even going with this? - Matty Malaprop

You know, D*shwäsher, the Hungarian ambient post-kraut post-hardcore post-rock band with the four flautists! - Matty Malaprop

I have an inkling that octopuses don't really appreciate being tickled. Sorry Bad Joke Eel. - Matty Malaprop

Punmaster TylerBargerhuff says: "When a common question is asked to a 'not so common' person, a funny response usually follows."

My colon is not the thing that needs sprucing up, thankyouverymuch! - Matty Malaprop

Social media at its best and worst on Failbook!

Can't really blame the kid; last time I got gassed up at the dentist, I walked out of there thinking I was a queen, too. - Matty Malaprop

... maybe try a search for iLighther and see if that yields more useful results? - Matty Malaprop