I was with you all until the Doritos joke... I mean, really, is there any potato-matter in a bag of Doritos at all? I'm skeptical. - Matty Malaprop

Raising a child always causes an unfortunate kind of famine for your energy levels. - Matty Malaprop

Careful there, Christa. Always remember that when you gaze long into an a-bisque, the a-bisque also gazes into you. - Matty Malaprop Nietzsche