potato

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I'm told he was well on his way to slimming down, but then he got a little lazy and his exercise regiment spuddered to a halt. - Matty Malaprop

By Unknown
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"But like, dude, have you ever thought about what life would be like if you weren't a potato? Like, what if you were actually a grape?" - Matty Malaprop

commentators
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No wonder this broadcast is so terribly firetruck. - Matty Malaprop

One more than firetruck.
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Punmaster ichckid098 wins the Internet for today. Everybody else should just go home. - Matty Malaprop

Fried!
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I was with you all until the Doritos joke... I mean, really, is there any potato-matter in a bag of Doritos at all? I'm skeptical. - Matty Malaprop