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Did it hurt, when you fell from the arms of that creepy anthropomorphic pole-thing? - Matty Malaprop

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Via: Nathan Bulmer
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It's all there, really. Elements of Joyce, Proust, Goethe and Broch, told in a voice halfway between Deleuze and DeLillo. - Matty Malaprop

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Via: Punblr
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You nitwit! I said I was a Capricorn, not a Calculus! - Matty Malaprop

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I've always been quite frond of these plant-related puns. - Matty Malaprop

(P.S. I have no idea why OP chose to call this post Randy Moss but whatever)