THE SCHEDULE SAYS 9:13 A.M. AND YET IT ALWAYS SHOWS UP AT 9:09 A.M. AND MY LIFE IS JUST A LIE :((((((((((((((( - Matty Malaprop

Is double crowning a real thing? HOW DO I PAGEANT-SPEAK? - Matty Malaprop

Just don't ask her how much she makes. She always gets a little rye about equality in the workplace. - Matty Malaprop