Finding change in the dryer

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You're doing it wrong.

Just Look at Those Presidential Pumps!

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And as your resident male punmaster, I hereby absolve myself from knowing what pumps actually look like, so my above title maintains both its integrity and its alliteration. - Matty Malaprop

One More Reason He's Good for America!

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He's really pushing for a greener campaign with this year's election coming up! - Matty Malaprop

The Best Way to Preserve Obama's Presidency...

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Down with foreign policy! Up with delicious victuals! - Matty Malaprop

Maybe Romney Winning Isn't an Abomination.

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Oh, those terrorists and their turbane opinions... - Matty Malaprop

Okay, But I Get To Be Opaque

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(D) He did say he'd bring transparency to government! / (R) I always could see right through that guy.

Public Appearances Really Blow

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