Okay, I Admit It, I Don't Understand.

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Someone please explain it to me? HOW IS THIS A PUN? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? OH GOD HOW I REGRET SPENDING ALL OF MY TIME IN PRE-CALC LISTENING TO BRIGHT EYES AND TURNING PERFECT CIRCLES INTO CRYING EMO FACES IN MY TEXT BOOK. - Matty Malaprop

Looks Like Somebody's a Derivative That Wants to Lay Tangent to Her Curves...

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... aaaaaaaaaaand this is why I majored in English. My sweet nothings don't require solving for variables, hollaaaaaa! - Matty Malaprop