You nitwit! I said I was a Capricorn, not a Calculus! - Matty Malaprop

Punmaster Kenny says: "Asian professor always say: Raprass Transform."

That's all fine and well, Punmaster Kenny... but WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? #IgnorantModeratorIsIgnorant #Plz2ExplainThis2Me - Matty Malaprop

If said root was in the shape of an "I," then would that make this tree an imaginary lumber? - Matty Malaprop

Oh... i see what you did there. - Matty Malaprop

On the plus side, their fees are variable>. - Matty Malaprop

Sometimes you just need someone to walk with on the mean streets... because you're dead in the middle of oncoming traffic and whatnot, and it's nice to have a human shield standing by. - Matty Malaprop