Because you can't make good pancakes without breaking a few Neweggs. - Matty Malaprop

If you're going to go around crushing tongues' spirits, you could stand to at least do it with a little more taste, bud! - Matty Malaprop

Are you sure that doesn't go against the Facebook ToS agreement? I only ask out of concern! - Matty Malaprop

Or maybe it was a very awkward and slow accident? The world may never know. Still photos do not convey the full story here! - Matty Malaprop

Because bacon and nekkid shenanigans should ALWAYS go hand-in-hand! - Matty Malaprop

The secret to successful relationships is always holding yourself with the utmost confidence. - Matty Malaprop

I keep trying to come up with a pun related to doubloons, but I'm kind of drawing a blank. HALP PLS COMMENTERS? - Matty Malaprop