Thanks to his military training, he knows never to shoot at a culprit until he sees the egg whites of their eyes. - Matty Malaprop

With all the internal turmoil happening over in the Middle East, I worry their faith system might be stuck at square root one. - Matty Malaprop

I'm one of those who do, Siri-usly. - Matty Malaprop

This one's for all the S.O.s out there, and all the CO₂. - Matty Malaprop

It's Valentine's Day, and Cheezburger has a very special present for you!

... nailed it? - Matty Malaprop

The compass rose aligns the way it does because Eastwood kicked it into that position, you know. - Matty Malaprop

Plus, that nail polish job is just ~~FAAAAABULOUS~~ - Matty Malaprop