It may not do any immediate damage to your opponent, but it certainly helps keep life ratios in check between the two of you. - Matty Malaprop

Wait a second... if you replace every word in the worst pop songs with food words, the music automatically becomes 50 percent more listenable and 150 percent tastier! SOMEBODY PUT ME ON THE PHONE WITH UMG! - Matty Malaprop

Better than a seal made out of whale byproduct, amirite? - Matty Malaprop

If he can best Superman in a race, then he certainly should have no problem out-speeding a zip drive... - Matty Malaprop

Well I mean, it's not mathematically like dividing by zero... but I mean, consequences, etc. Fission is a helluva drug. - Matty Malaprop

Strangely, though it lacks sentience, a number of scientists have found it quite easy to bond with. - Matty Malaprop

All the convenience of a first-class flight, with nun of the hassle! - Matty Malaprop