Kale Mary, full of grapes... - Matty Malaprop

This is truly the work of a bergeoning punsmith. - Matty Malaprop

Lettuce not panic. We are not green sailors. If we keep our heads straight, I'm sure we can make it out of this alive. - Matty Malaprop

I see what you did there, crafty cucumber (zucchini?) carver. - Matty Malaprop

Come on now; everyone knows the only funny vegetable is the potato. - Matty Malaprop