lettuce

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I see what you did there, crafty cucumber (zucchini?) carver. - Matty Malaprop

Via: Reddit
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Lettuce not panic. We are not green sailors. If we keep our heads straight, I'm sure we can make it out of this alive. - Matty Malaprop

Tell us right away!
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Come on now; everyone knows the only funny vegetable is the potato. - Matty Malaprop