Hey Joe, I said where you goin' with that pen in your hand? - Matty Malaprop
Given my history with Ikea product assembly, I'm mostly positive I'll never net this gig... - Matty Malaprop
He tried to take the story of his unlawful denial of employment to the press, but they wrote it off as yellow journalism. - Matty Malaprop
Sadly, this isn't the first time he sat his pants during an important interview... - Matty Malaprop
Damn gurl, what did Zach do to you to incur such ice-cold wrath? - Matty Malaprop
Check out what's fab funny in showbiz, over at ROFLrazzi!
And to think he would have said "inside you" if his gaydar had only given off a slightly stronger signal... - Matty Malaprop
Source: Cyanide & Happiness
DON'T CALL THAT NUMBER MAN HE HAS A COMBOVER AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THAT COMBOVER HAS BEEN!!!!!! - Matty Malaprop
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