After all, he was the former CEO's main squeeze. #ApplesAreTotallyOrangesNow #Didn'tYouGetTheMemo? - Matty Malaprop

A penny? Seriously? Abe might have been an honest dude, but that doesn't mean he wasn't a stinkin' cheapskate. - Matty Malaprop

In my family, it's tradition to always start breakfast with a lovely toast. - Matty Malaprop

Oh come on, it can't hurt that bad. I think you're just being an Octopussy about this whole thing. - Matty Malaprop

Apparently the Derp who made this rage comic didn't bother checking our archives... but I'm flattered he felt compelled to send it here first! - Matty Malaprop

It's kinda like that Flash game "Achievement Unlocked!" Except it's not fun and you can only click one thing and it's soundtracked by one of the worst "rap-rock" bands to ever exist. Oh f*ing boy. - Matty Malaprop