I know this kind of question has very little to do with my own life, but I can't help but ask such things out of utter Curiosity, you know? - Matty Malaprop

It took us a while to clean up our act, but now your efforts will hamper ours no longer! - Matty Malaprop

He was able to successfully disarm the problem in both scenarios. Unfortunately for his mother, she found it hard to hold her baby with no arms. :( - Matty Malaprop

I mean, she's pretty, funny, intelligent, athletic... but there's something about her that just rubs me the wrong way. Like, she just seems way too possessive sometimes, you know? - Matty Malaprop

Want more London Olympics content? ROFLympics has been awarded the gold medal of awesomeness!

I mean, it makes sense to keep such a quantity of bills in the fridge though. After all, no one ever wants their assets to be frozen. - Matty Malaprop

If his ego is gigallontic already, I'd hate to see him full to the brim... - Matty Malaprop

I mean, that IS the moral of "The Tortoise and the Hare," right? Right? - Matty Malaprop