Drinks Are on the House Tonight!

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Drinks Are on the House Tonight!
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Oh, I'm sorry, you were expecting me to foot your bill? How droll! - Matty Malaprop

This is Why You Shouldn't Do Drugs, Friends

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This is Why You Shouldn't Do Drugs, Friends
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As my Colorado friends often remind me, this kind of thing is what they call "just another day in Boulder." - Matty Malaprop

The Only House I Ever Want to Be Sorted Into

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The Only House I Ever Want to Be Sorted Into
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Screw that one house with the badgers. And that one with the griffins. And especially that one with the snakes. This is clearly the best option. - Matty Malaprop