The Only House I Ever Want to Be Sorted Into

Favorite
Hall of Fame,Harry Potter,house,houses,literalism,prefix,similar sounding,sloth,slytherin,snape
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Screw that one house with the badgers. And that one with the griffins. And especially that one with the snakes. This is clearly the best option. - Matty Malaprop

Four (Pills) on the Floor

Favorite
double meaning,house,house music,hugh laurie,literalism,Music
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And when he dies and is cremated, everyone will pull a genre-based 180 and somberly sing "Burning Down the House" in his honor. - Matty Malaprop

He's a Vermin to the Medical Field

Favorite
combination,house,juxtaposition,literalism,mickey mouse
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... which I guess means his first child will be Mini House? - Matty Malaprop

Please, Bring Our Sailors Home

Favorite
description,double meaning,house,light,lighthouse,literalism,weight
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My entreaty is true either way, though I suppose the context is radically altered in each instance... - Matty Malaprop