I'm Surprised it Wasn't Lupus

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I'm Surprised it Wasn't Lupus
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And it was precisely then that poor little Susie developed her longstanding case of Iatrophobia. - Matty Malaprop

Thanks punmaster Magician_at_large for finding the source for this comic!

He's a Vermin to the Medical Field

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He's a Vermin to the Medical Field
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... which I guess means his first child will be Mini House? - Matty Malaprop

Four (Pills) on the Floor

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Four (Pills) on the Floor
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And when he dies and is cremated, everyone will pull a genre-based 180 and somberly sing "Burning Down the House" in his honor. - Matty Malaprop

Everyone Should Sing Along

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Everyone Should Sing Along
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Not to be picky... but isn't this haus closer to the curb than the middle of the street? I think the song a lot less catchy... #puncrusher - Matty Malaprop

Drinks Are on the House Tonight!

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Drinks Are on the House Tonight!
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Oh, I'm sorry, you were expecting me to foot your bill? How droll! - Matty Malaprop

You Has a What Now?

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You Has a What Now?
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I'd stay away from that truck if I were you; you might contract lupus if you touch it. - Matty Malaprop