I'm serious; if you keep making terrible Potterpuns, I'm not going to hesitate in showing you the Dumbledore. - Matty Malaprop

And I hope, should I ever propose, that you'll gladly say "I doe." - Matty Malaprop

Punmasters, what is your jam for the day? Mine is "Tracks (Tall Bodies)" by Chelsea Wolfe. - Matty Malaprop

Some days you're the windshield, and... wait, where was I even going with this? - Matty Malaprop

Homophones are truly confounding things sometimes. - Matty Malaprop

Is double crowning a real thing? HOW DO I PAGEANT-SPEAK? - Matty Malaprop

You know, D*shwäsher, the Hungarian ambient post-kraut post-hardcore post-rock band with the four flautists! - Matty Malaprop