I pity the fool who thinks you can get good tea from most primarily-coffee-oriented cafés. - Matty Malaprop

In truth, they were looking for one more knight to round out their guard, but Sir Plus was disapproved of by their leader, Sir Reptitious. - Matty Malaprop

Sweet Brown knows that much thyme ain't gonna lead to nothin' except a baaaaaaaaad case of bronchitis. - Matty Malaprop

Parents: the OG-est of trolls. - Matty Malaprop

Trolling is a art.

LENIN. LENIN. NOT LENINE. UGGGGGGGGGGGH WORST TYPO. - Matty Malaprop

Oh right, he WASN'T the guy who created Supersize Me. That's the joke! - Matty Malaprop

It always starts with Zorro down payments, but everything spirals out of control from there (and yeah yeah I know the Lone Ranger and Zorro are different leave me alone okay????). - Matty Malaprop