Story of My Life

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Story of My Life
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Seriously, the entire history of my social life could be summarized as one. From that one time I drunkenly threw up all over everything and everyone I ever loved to that other time I dressed up my neighbor's rooster as a transgendered caricature of Lady Gaga... let's just say my existence has long been one big pile of shame. - Matty Malaprop

They Grow Up So Fast These Days...

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They Grow Up So Fast These Days...
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His departure from his family was bound to happen eventually. I mean, his natural home is on the range, after all. - Matty Malaprop

A Marked Improvement, if You Ask Me

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A Marked Improvement, if You Ask Me
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I'd really love it if rottenray could help me paint my House. He clearly has a knack for color coordination. - Matty Malaprop

Give Him a Break, He Just Finished Hibernating!

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Give Him a Break, He Just Finished Hibernating!
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He'll be ready soon, I promise. He just needs to get his outfit ursussed out. - Matty Malaprop

Beware the Pie-Rat!

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Beware the Pie-Rat!
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He's been known to mutincheese from time to time. - Matty Malaprop

All That's Missing is Nyan

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All That's Missing is Nyan
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Srsly u guiz: NYANCATBUS. It's Totoro meets Nyan Cat meets a misinterpretation of the acronym USB. HOW COULD ANYTHING POSSIBLY BE BETTER? - Matty Malaprop