I'd Like to Roll Some Stones at That Rat...

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I'd Like to Roll Some Stones at That Rat...
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It's these kind of jokes that got the whole lot of "Pearls Before Swine" characters Exiled on Main Street to begin with. - Matty Malaprop

SMP CLASSIC: Tearable Puns

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SMP CLASSIC: Tearable Puns
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Punmaster Spencer Jarrett says: "This showed up on the office (Utah Symphony and Opera) bulletin board today and I just had to share!"

They were possibly printed from this very site, though it is quite nice seeing them again! - Matty Malaprop

Dark Ages Frugality

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Dark Ages Frugality
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In truth, they were looking for one more knight to round out their guard, but Sir Plus was disapproved of by their leader, Sir Reptitious. - Matty Malaprop

WARNING: This Pun Will Make You Groan/Sigh/Punch Things/Etc.

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No no, kiddo. Don't take a bough. You don't deserve applause for that one. - Matty Malaprop