It's a Little TL;DR, But I Promise It's Worth It

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It's a Little TL;DR, But I Promise It's Worth It
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Oh, science jokes... my best friend's engaged to a Biochemistry Ph.D., but I swear to god if I hear the "unzip your genes" joke one more time, I'm going to wreck that highfalutin home. - Matty Malaprop

How Flipperant of Them...

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How Flipperant of Them...
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I'm pretty sure these fishers will be singing a different tuna when their aquatic prey start coming after them armed with swordfish... - Matty Malaprop

Hell Has Frozen Over

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Hell Has Frozen Over
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Meanwhile, residents in nearby Heck are enjoying comfortable temperatures in the mid-60s. - Matty Malaprop

I Swear That Woman is the Devil in Disguise...

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I Swear That Woman is the Devil in Disguise...
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Man, what is it with all these TAs with strange names? Helen Waite for my English class, and Fa Kyerself for my philosophy class... - Matty Malaprop