You really ought to put him on a stricter diet. You wouldn't want him developing heart pulpitations, after all!
"You merely adopted obesity! I was born in it, molded by it. I did not see a treadmill until I was already a man!" - Matty Malaprop
Damn shame. I'm far more fond of half-and-half in my morning cup of joe. - Matty Malaprop
Owlie's been known to rock beets so hard he turns them into straight-up jams. Good on ya, Owlie. - Matty Malaprop
A Huffington Post Reporter Makes a Total Fool of Himself ...
Damn Nature, You Scary of the Day: Huge Grouper Eats a 4 ...
NOPE of the Day: Burn This Shed Down
The Internet Had a Lot of Fun With Rick Perry's Mugshot
Photoshop Battle of the Day: The Happy Baby Wombat
This Makeup Artist Transformed Her Mouth Into Some of Your ...
Life Sure is Something
Want a T-Shirt With ALL of the Guardians of the Galaxy on ...
This Bike Accident is a Physics Miracle. Stick the Landing!
Pick Your Site Name
Tell me more