Owlie's been known to rock beets so hard he turns them into straight-up jams. Good on ya, Owlie. - Matty Malaprop
"You merely adopted obesity! I was born in it, molded by it. I did not see a treadmill until I was already a man!" - Matty Malaprop
Damn shame. I'm far more fond of half-and-half in my morning cup of joe. - Matty Malaprop
You really ought to put him on a stricter diet. You wouldn't want him developing heart pulpitations, after all!
Jimmy Kimmel Asks the People of Austin, Texas if They're ...
I Know You're Sick of Frozen Covers, But This One's Sung ...
18 Unlucky Moments With Lucky Animals
Pretty Sure She's Not Under Anyone's Radar
7 Superhero Facts to Stump the Biggest Fan!
They'll Be Together Forever
Walter Has Been Writing His Own Obituary for Years, and It's ...
Now You See This Pool, and Now You Don't!
McDonalds Cannot Into Math
Winter Ain't Over Yet
Pick Your Site Name
Tell me more