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After reading this groan-worthy pizza puns, I really feel like I could use a margherita. - Matty Malaprop

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By Kevin Bacon
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Good or bad, elevator sex always ends with someone getting the shaft. If you know what I mean. - Matty Malaprop

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By Unknown
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I asked him to STOP, but he refused to even YIELD his kleptomaniacal deeds! - Matty Malaprop

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By xyzpdq1
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One more reason why you should just bow down to our internet-controlling overlords already. - Matty Malaprop

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By Unknown
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All I can recommend is that Matthew take some medicine and go to bed, lest he wants to Diggory his own grave! - Matty Malaprop