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Oh, the stories my father has told me about that particular Pink Floyd tour... are decidedly not safe for work, probably life, and definitely this site. - Matty Malaprop

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"Nice ass," I hooted, as I admired the newborn donkey in my uncle's barn. - Matty Malaprop

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Just be warned, Blue. Marine Biology is a challenging field. I really hope for your sake that you have someone to go home and cuttle with at the end of the day. - Matty Malaprop

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I was with you all until the Doritos joke... I mean, really, is there any potato-matter in a bag of Doritos at all? I'm skeptical. - Matty Malaprop