And to Think, She Was Putin Up Such Strong Performances Before

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Strangely, Liukin bears a strong resemblance to Nastasya Filipovna from Dostoevsky's The Idiot. This fact made this particular incident a field day for Russian reporters, who humiliated Liukin with such gruesome newspaper headlines as: "Idiot Nastia Lookin' Filipovna flippin' ova on uneven bars." - Matty Malaprop

Is it Still 64 Feet Tall and Made of Styrofoam?

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Oh, the stories my father has told me about that particular Pink Floyd tour... are decidedly not safe for work, probably life, and definitely this site. - Matty Malaprop

Let's Get Some Facts 'Strate

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Not gonna lie, I'm a little upset that this conversation wasn't padded with more commentary. - Matty Malaprop

Tree's a Crowd

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Her boyfriend's name is Douglas Fir, but what she doesn't know is he's been pollenating with other lady-trees and is now a carrier of Phytophthora root rot. - Matty Malaprop

Help Me Obi-Pun Kenobi...

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This overly long Facebook abomination is your fault, Darth Waiter... - Matty Malaprop