In fact they're a high-end restaurant devoted solely to fancy beef dinners, and the mother in the story is pescetarian. All in all the whole evening ended up being a total cabasstrophe. - Matty Malaprop

In other news, Kanye West used the ol' Nietzsche defense to dodge a lawsuit recently, so basically my life is complete?

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Orange you glad I don't post too terribly many of these things every week? - Matty Malaprop

Maybe we should lay off him a bit, guys. No matter how much we pry, he's still telling us (empa)nada. - Matty Malaprop

Unrelated to this joke: Why don't more people use the phrase "I reckon" nowadays? It's just so fun to say! - Matty Malaprop

Dos equis. Dos guitars. Potato tomato. - Matty Malaprop

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I was with you all until the Doritos joke... I mean, really, is there any potato-matter in a bag of Doritos at all? I'm skeptical. - Matty Malaprop