Let's Get Some Facts 'Strate

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Not gonna lie, I'm a little upset that this conversation wasn't padded with more commentary. - Matty Malaprop

I Suppose it's a Slight Upgrade From Lefty...

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I mean sure, she's got a bit of a frigid temperament, but what were you really expecting from a Neopolitan girl? - Matty Malaprop

Tree's a Crowd

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Her boyfriend's name is Douglas Fir, but what she doesn't know is he's been pollenating with other lady-trees and is now a carrier of Phytophthora root rot. - Matty Malaprop

This is the Kind of IT Issue You Deal With Every Day in Europe

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Anyone wanna lend this guy a hand? I'm sure he'll think you're a real Swedeheart for doing it! - Matty Malaprop